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***RCCrawler 12 days of Christmas giveaway Day #8***

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I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
If you're a boxing referee, it's probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when someone kills someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he wants to build things, like dams, and maybe chew down some trees. In the third stage, he feels trapped, and then ``skinned.'' I'm not sure what the fourth stage is. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
 
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