I think Im in trouble with the FBI

[Tupers]

I read the thread title and thought this was a serious thread.

Was going to mention the time that the Department of Homeland Security paid me a visit. :|

That'll make you pucker. :lol:

Seriously you can't just leave us hanging like that, tell the God damn story. :lmao:

 

[Dragon51]

Just send me the $100 and I will send you a very valuable limited edition bottle of baby spit up! Yes ypu too can get this limited edition bottle that has the very popular curdled milk smell!:mrgreen:

This will not only improve the way your rig handles, you will also lower your points at all comps!!!:mrgreen: Yes this is true this is not a scam. The shear aroma of this stuff will make others just want to get you off the course they will deduct points off your score sheet!

So don't wait "Odor" now!:mrgreen:

 

[jetboat]

I read the thread title and thought this was a serious thread.

Was going to mention the time that the Department of Homeland Security paid me a visit. :|

That'll make you pucker. :lol:

They usually call first... first time I picked up my phone and heard "this is (name excluded) with DHS" my butt puckered nicely. Now I just tell them to call my manager.

 

[wanantrdsc]

Give me a break! Most likely you are giving us B.S. If you actually think this is really the FBI, you have bigger problems. The FBI is NOT, I repeat NOT going to send you an e-mail! Check and see if the country that you are supposed to send the money to, is on the terrorist watch list, then send your money, and you might get a visit from some very nicely dressed men.

 

[JasonInAugusta]

Seriously you can't just leave us hanging like that, tell the God damn story. :lmao:

It's a long story...DHS will try to fawk with you.

Went out and took some pictures of a place that looked really cool at night. The place is located right next to a four lane road.

So I pull up into an entrance the truck, left it running and left the lights on. Also left the driver's side door open so I could listen to the radio while I was taking pictures. Spent about 10 minutes taking pictures in front of this entrance that had chainlink gates and an empty guard shack that looked like it hadn't been used in ages.

I finish up, pack up, leave, and about 1/4 mile down the road there's a red S-10 parked on the shoulder that got behind me when I passed him.

Then, coming from the other direction, was a Sheriff's Deputy.

Neither one of them stopped me to ask me what I was doing.

A week later the wife and I were in town and we come home to find a business card from a dude at the Department of Homeland Security.

I called the number to ask WTF his card was doing on my door.

He told me that he has a report that said I was a witness to something and that he needed to talk to me about it. (Which immediately made my bullshit alarms go off. I spent too much time doing things in the Army to fall for something that basic)

I asked what I supposedly witness and he told me that, according to his report, I saw a guy in a gray pickup truck taking pictures at so-and-so location.

Told him that his report had errors in it - that it was me taking pictures. :lol:

He asked why and I told him that it looked cool. All the metal structure lit up at night just looked cool. Then I asked him why he was calling me about taking pictures.

He then, OVER THE PHONE, told me what the place was, what they did there, and why this place would be a terrorist target. :shock:

Since I knew he was recording the conversation (No, he didn't tell me, but shit, I'm being investigated by the government) I made it a point to say that "Well, I didn't know that until now. You gave me that information. The only thing I knew was that it looked cool when lit up at night."

So again he asks me why I was taking the pictures and, again, I tell him that I enjoy photography and it looked cool at night.

He asked me to come in and speak to him in his office. "Sure." He wanted me to show up around lunch, which struck me as odd. I knew he was in his office while we were talking. I could've easily been there in 20 minutes instead of waiting over an hour to leave and go see him like he wanted.

When I left the house I found out why. :lol: I counted five unmarked cars that were following me at various points on my trip. They didn't simply use one car and follow me at a distance, they used multiple cars thinking I wouldn't notice them.

Wrong. :lol:

So I get to the place to speak with the guy, go to the front desk, tell the woman who I'm there to see. He comes out, tells me that "they" had to use his office and we'll "have to find somewhere else to talk". He then ushers me through a set of doors that we had to get buzzed through. So now we're standing between two sets of doors, both of which you have to be buzzed in and out of. To my left is a window that's about 3/4" thick. At that point I was told I "had" to give up either my keys or my driver's license so I could get a visitor badge. :lol: Whatever. I gave them the license.

So, wearing my new visitor badge we get buzzed through the 2nd set of doors and we're walking down a hallway...that's lined with "Interview Room A", "Interview Room B", and so on. I saw an open door on the left at a T in the hall and knew that's where he was taking me...even though the place was empty except for us. Lunch, you know.

Before we got there I could see the walls were padded with the anechoic foam that's used when doing audio recordings. It damps sound and eliminates echos so the recordings are clear. I also made an observation that the door was hinged on the right and opened into the room.

As we got closer I could see that the table in the room was situated left to right with a chair at each end. With what I'd observed already I figured the DHS guy was going to take the chair on the left and have me sit on the right side of the room. As we entered the room, sure enough, he took the chair on the left. That told me that the video camera was on the left side of the room. I didn't see it in the back left corner when I came in so I immediately knew it was in the other corner on the left, nearest the door.

Just to fawk with the guy I walked around the door and sat down in the other chair - blocking me from camera view. :lol:

Dude started talking, realized the door was open, and asked me to close it. "It's gets kind of noisy around here this time of day." Remember, it's lunch time and, from what I saw when we went in, we were two of three people in this building. Didn't see or hear anyone else as we made our way to the Interview Room. So I played the game and closed the door.

Then he started asking me the same questions and I gave him the same answers and made a point (this time while being recorded via video) that I knew NOTHING about the place until he gave that information to me over the phone. "So you're investigating ME and YOU give ME information about this place and why it would be a terrorist target? What sense does that make?"

I asked him if what I was doing was such a big deal why didn't the security guy in the red S-10 ask me what I was doing instead of parking 1/4 mile down the road? His answer was "They're trained not to intercede."

"OK, what about the Sheriff's Deputy that was called? They're trained to intercede? Why didn't they stop me?"

No answer.

"If that place is such a big deal, why is it situated so close to a 4-lane road?" "Why is that guard shack empty?

Again, no answers.

He asked if I brought my laptop like he'd asked..."No."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because I use it for work and I'm not going to give it to you. I need it."

"But the pictures are on it, right?"

"Yes, but I figured I would show you where I used the pictures online and what they were used for instead of just giving you my laptop. That way you can see where and how they were used."

So I show the pictures to him. Take him to the web page. He then takes the mouse, highlights the url in the address bar, opens up the email program on the computer he's on, and starts creating an email. Says that the pictures ARE cool and that he wants to send them to some friends. He entered his own email address as the recipient.

For subject he typed "JLC" and the body of the email was nothing more than the url to where I used the photos online.

So after that we're pretty much done. We walk outside and keep talking.

"Well, I think we're pretty much done here. I can close the file on this. There won't even be a folder on you."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you've spent a week investigating me. Digging your fingers into every aspect of my life. The folder on me has already been started and we both know it. That email you sent yourself while I was standing there tells me that there's a folder on me.

"What do you mean? What about that email says there's a folder on you."

"Well, out of all the things you could have used for a subject line in that email you used 'JLC'"

"Yeah? So..."

"So those are my initials. You entered JLC as the subject so when you get back to your office you can add that to my folder."

He just look at me with a blank stare. I told him I had to go and that I though they wasted a bunch of time and money over the course of a week. All it would have taken to get an answer was for the security guy in the S-10 or the Sheriff's Deputy to stop me.

"Well, as least you know we're doing our job."

I laughed, shook his hand, and started walking off.

Then I stopped and said "Hey, one last question."

"What's that?"

"I'm not going to be followed home by five unmarked cars, am I?"

He smiled. "Nice talking with you, Mr. Carter." :mrgreen:

Fawkin' DHS. :|

 

[jetboat]

Dang, I'm lucky... they just bug me on the phone about causes of 911 outages which I tell them 20 times isn't my job and that they need to call my manager. But, of course they can never get him so they keep calling me.

Did get followed home a while back when I pulled over in front of the max security prison to pick up a cell call... didn't know a guard had just been stabbed in an escape attempt.

 

[wanantrdsc]

Im not sure whats worse here, the pucker factor on the sphincer meter, or the pile of crap that the chimps threw on the B.S. meter?

 

[Captaincrash]

I have a friend whos landlady is caught up in a scam like this......She had sent $9000.00 with a promise of 21mil......just sent another $2000.00 the other day!! When will people wake up??

 

[DEVROCK]

Chance of spending a 100 bucks and getting 17.5 mil. I'd do it.

I'm in! Thanks for the chance!"thumbsup"